the not so bleak side of life
This isn’t my first time blogging.
I had one personal blog, which I updated religiously during my glory days of my youth also known as the good ol’ college days. I had so much things to talk about, holy crap! I told everyone (okay, no one–it’s not like I had a big readership asides from a handful of friends) about what food I ate, which friend I had dinner with, what I did in class, etc. To me, it was the most exciting thing ever!
(Seriously, at one point in time I had like 3 friends who read my blog with so much damn devotion, thinking about it makes me realize how idiotic they were for actually liking the crap I wrote. Bless them.)
I also had a fanfiction blog (gasp!) on Livejournal, which I totally loved. It was the first time I discover that it was quite easy to tweak a webpage and I could customize it to my likings and, oh my, I think I found my love for minimalistic themes back then. Other blogging platforms also included Blogspot and WordPress, both of them did suck, in my opinion, because none of the themes looked like the preview (unless you paid of the full option, so I discovered, damn you). Don’t mind me, it’s just the frustrated nerd inside of me speaking.
Back then it was so easy to write and read stories that exceeded 10k word count. I could write a whole essay about my breakfast complete with pictures and (horrible) puns.
I stopped updating my personal blog a while ago. Fine, maybe a tad longer than a while ago.
Now we have Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc where you are forced to fit your entire life story into a fixed amount of characters. How do I tell people how awesome (okay, boring) my day was in a handful of words?
Don’t you realize the pain and horror of splitting up a story in multiple tweets, just because you don’t want to use Twitlonger because it requires you to go to their webpage and, dear lord, who has time to do all of these things? I just want one internet invention that does everything from updating people about my day to making me scrambled eggs in the morning. Is that too much to ask?
Also, how do I tell the wittiest story in a Snapchat message without the words covering my well-thought-out picture? How do I convey a story accompanying my Instagram picture without scaring people away when they see the massive block of text right under that picture? Do you even realize the importance of double tapping and gaining likes?
And that’s the thing with all these social media slash micro blog apps. In an era of a single picture and oneliner update, where on earth do you find the time or, even more importantly, the attention span to read a whole essay about someone’s thoughtfully put together OOTD or vegan gluten free super food unicorn dust miracle salad?
I follow a couple of dozens fashion blogs on Bloglovin, and, honestly, I only look at the pictures. Pictures are usually spot on if there is a pictoresque landscape, a very attractive person, or a well composed scene in it. I barely read the blog text, because, let’s be real, nobody got time for the same rehashed BS about some sponsored clothing item they happened to stumble upon and fell in love with it on first sight.
That’s the problem with most blogs nowadays. The intended limitations of these new platforms, our unsatisfying craving for new daily content, and attention spans goldfishes would be jealous of make it impossible to impress the anons of the world wide web anymore if you don’t catch their attention with well-thought-out pictures and 5 lines of text that explains your whole life story.
So, why I am starting a new blog then? Because I am under the impression that I can somehow awaken my punny side once again and just blog about anything and everything I feel like, because, damn it, ain’t nobody got time to write 10 seperate tweets about the pizza I ate for dinner, which made me nauseous because.so.much.calories!
Maybe I should’ve just used Twitlonger. Hah.